Last weekend, I watched two movies: Judas and the Black Messiah and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle.
On one hand, critics and viewers acknowledge “Judas and the Black Messiah” as a better movie. High ratings from all reviewers, seven Oscar nominations and two wins and a subject (the life of black activist Fred Hampton) pertinent to our times.
While, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is your typical summer blockbuster. Focus on action and pacing rather than character exploration, targeted to a demographic much younger than me.
Yet, I enjoyed Jumanji much more than I enjoyed Judas. And I realised I went into the movies with wildly different expectations and came out with markedly different levels of satisfaction.
I first came to know of Judas because of the amazing trailer released in 2020. It is my favourite trailer of all time. It had brilliantly delivered dialogues inter-cut with fast-paced action scenes, scored with a thumping, sinister background score. And it conveyed this idea that this was a psychological thriller, that not all was as it seemed with the “Black Messiah” there was something beneath the surface. I expected it to be a movie in the veins of The Departed.
However, when I watched the movie, it was a tragic biopic. It is an important movie and about an important story which I did not know about but needed to know. Though I was grateful for it, yet it disappointed me they did not deliver the movie I had envisioned.
Jumanji was one of those hangover beating movies I just randomly clicked on because it was the only movie in Netflix’s blockbuster recommendations I had not watched. I fully expected to switch off as soon as I saw it and did not want or expect anything brilliant. But it surprised me. It had a well-structured plot; well-written characters and the actors did a superb job (especially Jack Black… but Jack Black is a generational talent). I expected a below average movie, but I got a simple but well-written adventure story.
These two experiences got me thinking about how our expectations shape our perception of not just the media we consume but also life.
Elon Musk quoted in his infamous Joe Rogan podcast: “Happiness is reality minus expectations”, attributed to Tom Magliozzi, host of radio show: “Car Talk”.
And I wondered if it applies to other facets of life as well:
1. Love: They say unrequited love is the purest love, because the one you love can never disappoint you.
2. Career: the number of MBA grads who come into a corporate career expecting glass cabins, teeing off at the golf course, a hot secretary and business class tickets. Only to be hit by the day-to-day monotony of crunching numbers in a cubicle and going years on years with the only advancement being your age and your hairline.
3. Wealth: how having wealth would solve all your problems, but when you have the money, you realise you still have problems… just different ones.
And it also begs the question: is life better off if we consistently set low expectations? Is approaching everything hoping it will disappoint you make you happier?
This is where I delve into happiness. I like to think “Happiness is equal to satisfaction, pleasure and well-being combined in the right amount.” We derive happiness not just from the momentary satisfaction of having achieved something but also from the state of constant well- being that comes from a healthy body, a full stomach, and a positive mindset.
Viktor Frankl in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” he describes how identifying a purpose in life to feel positive about and imagining the outcome as much as possible helped many prisoners at Nazi concentration camps.
A person with high expectations remains happier for a longer period because of their anticipation of a greater reward. While a pessimistic person remains in a period of unhappiness as they wait.
So, having low expectations will mean that you are less disappointed and maybe happier when you get better than what you expect. But to have a more sustained joy in life, it is better to have high expectations that will give you a longer sensation of joy.
